Why am I doing this Again?

     I decided to begin writing this blog after telling my roommate Whitney about all the stupid and/or funny things Millo does. After many tears of laughter, she finally told me I had to write this. I just think he's a disgusting pubescent puppy but figured I'd give it a go.
      For example, I never thought you were supposed to be embarrassed by your own child, but I absolutely was a couple of mornings ago. I took him out to take care of business like I do every morning, but being gross like he is, he enjoys eating hair, dirt, lint, stuffing from his toys, etc. and this begins to cause issues later. He began a #2 but then when he went to stand up a piece was hanging from his butt. I start gagging and trying to hold the leash with him attached as far as possible from me as he begins a constant: stand, poop hits leg, jumps startled, looks back at poop, squats back down, and then repeats this process about 4 times. Then he finally swings his head back, grabs the piece of feces with his mouth to pull it out, then sits down grinning at me expecting a treat. Meanwhile, between gags, I'm violently looking side to side trying to make sure no one else has to endure this repulsive behavior my baby is performing. I didn't let him kiss me for days and was extremely happy that I had purchased puppy mints.
     Then there's yesterday morning... this dog seriously eats ANYTHING! Brussel sprouts, onions, pepper kernels, tomatoes, 4 heart guards in one day resulting in a call to my mum to complain then a call to the vet to make sure he'd live, etc. Yesterday I take him out at 8am, before my coffee and completely NOT awake. All of a sudden I see him eating a giant leaf, his favorite thing in the world besides worms, so I go to take it out of his mouth so I can go make my coffee. I grab the leaf and think to myself "Hmm... he got a really tough leaf" then realization hits me an I scream while throwing the leaf BUG away from me! I then, being an animal lover, felt bad and walked over to see if it was alive... well, after playing an intense game of Where's Waldo? I find the poor leaf bug laying in the grass with one leg twitching. I then decide it's way to early to deal with this, must be dreaming still and venture on with my day.


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