The Phantom Pee-er

This dog is magic. It's hard enough to potty train a dog, but then add in the fact that mine pees ALL THE TIME! I could starve him of water, and he would still pee 4 times a day minimum. Wake up? Pee. Wake up even more? Pee. Play around? Pee. Drink some water? Pee. Eat food? Pee. Do a few laps newly energized? Pee. Play some more? Pee. Cuddle on the couch then get down? Pee. And it continues... I'm ELATED that he hasn't gone to the bathroom in the house all day when all of a sudden I step on a wet spot.. What the heck?! I look down and there's nothing there! The Phantom Pee-er is at it again. My roomate and I are always walking around our living room and feeling random wet spots without actually seeing anything. He's like a leaky faucet that just can't stop! When he gets excited or scared he looks like a little kid in class that just wet his pants as he runs and hidea ashamed of himself. He is the most frustrating creature in the entire world, but just like a kid, somehow you forgive him by the end of the day and just want to love him!

American Eskimo? Ok, you win

There's a reason I didn't get a border collie. I think they are adorable and I hear they are supposed to be very intelligent. I lived down the street from "Einstein" a border collie who did not represent his name very well and herding everything from dogs, to little children on bicycles, to me on my roller blades. Despite all this, I went to the SPCA once a week for about a month and couldn't find a good match for my boyfriend and I (I had to bring him to keep me grounded from bringing the whole pound home). Finally, really upset right after not finding a dog... Again, I went on Craigslist to look thinking I might have luck since I've been succesful finding everything else I've never needed in the past. About 2,457 pages later and see the same red nosed pitbull about 32 times (desperate much? RED FLAG), I came across an American Eskimo. I then proceed to scream "OMG The Proposal!!!" as my boyfriend then is giving me this "too soon and terrified" kind of look to which I scowl and ask him if he's ever seen the MOVIE The Proposal. He hadn't which was an issue resolved about a week later, but the reason for my outburst is because this dog is the exact dog, my dream dog, from the movie! I called right away and met up with the couple and the dog and my boyfriend and I. He was so white and fluffy and cute despite the ugly pictures they had sent and I took him home immediately, beaming. He is now Millo my baby puppy who so graciously decided he was SO excited to see me this morning, that he would run after me all around the house trying to deter me from my much needed coffee and herding me like the sheep I am not. I don't remember getting a border collie, but yet this 6lb wonder never ceases to amaze me. He's lucky he received a gentle toss away from me instead of the drop kick I envisioned in my head.

Why am I doing this Again?

     I decided to begin writing this blog after telling my roommate Whitney about all the stupid and/or funny things Millo does. After many tears of laughter, she finally told me I had to write this. I just think he's a disgusting pubescent puppy but figured I'd give it a go.
      For example, I never thought you were supposed to be embarrassed by your own child, but I absolutely was a couple of mornings ago. I took him out to take care of business like I do every morning, but being gross like he is, he enjoys eating hair, dirt, lint, stuffing from his toys, etc. and this begins to cause issues later. He began a #2 but then when he went to stand up a piece was hanging from his butt. I start gagging and trying to hold the leash with him attached as far as possible from me as he begins a constant: stand, poop hits leg, jumps startled, looks back at poop, squats back down, and then repeats this process about 4 times. Then he finally swings his head back, grabs the piece of feces with his mouth to pull it out, then sits down grinning at me expecting a treat. Meanwhile, between gags, I'm violently looking side to side trying to make sure no one else has to endure this repulsive behavior my baby is performing. I didn't let him kiss me for days and was extremely happy that I had purchased puppy mints.
     Then there's yesterday morning... this dog seriously eats ANYTHING! Brussel sprouts, onions, pepper kernels, tomatoes, 4 heart guards in one day resulting in a call to my mum to complain then a call to the vet to make sure he'd live, etc. Yesterday I take him out at 8am, before my coffee and completely NOT awake. All of a sudden I see him eating a giant leaf, his favorite thing in the world besides worms, so I go to take it out of his mouth so I can go make my coffee. I grab the leaf and think to myself "Hmm... he got a really tough leaf" then realization hits me an I scream while throwing the leaf BUG away from me! I then, being an animal lover, felt bad and walked over to see if it was alive... well, after playing an intense game of Where's Waldo? I find the poor leaf bug laying in the grass with one leg twitching. I then decide it's way to early to deal with this, must be dreaming still and venture on with my day.


ENJOY MY BLOG!